How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
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