It's Friday. Sex?
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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