i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize
