they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Blood and glitter go together right?
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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