Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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