He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
You were trust falling into bushes
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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