Porn is love you can see.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
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