out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
