So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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