i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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