if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Randomize
