There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Randomize
