The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
