Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
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