I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
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Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
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Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
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