Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
Randomize
