Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
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