i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
