This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
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