O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
