no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
