mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
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