my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
