I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
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