omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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