I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
