I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
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