dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
Randomize
