Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
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