I feel like I'm in dance class right now
YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
