Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
All I want is dick and wine.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
