I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
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