put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
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