you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
there was a trapeze. enough said
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Randomize
