Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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