We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
