i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
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