We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Randomize
