Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
