Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
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