It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
Randomize
