bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
