Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Randomize
