this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
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