Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
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