I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Randomize
