Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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