My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Randomize
