I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize
