i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Randomize
