i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
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