I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
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