her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize
