The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
