Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
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