We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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