dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
There r osticjed everywhere
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Randomize
