come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
