I want to stick my p in your. b.
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
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